A sneaky villain is lurking behind many of our to-do lists and endless hustle: perfectionism. Many think that being a perfectionist is a trait of great leaders. “Look at him, ambitious, professional, he doesn’t settle for less.” However, perfectionism comes with its own complete set of problems, including Trauma.
First off, Brooke explains that perfectionism isn’t just about wanting things “just right”, it’s often linked to Trauma. Like, a way the brain copes with early criticism or unresolved stress, turning the need to be perfect into a way to avoid feeling vulnerable or not “enough.”
The Hamster wheel of Perfectionism
Productivity often gets mistaken for worthiness. Think about it: How many times have you felt like if you’re not knocking tasks out non-stop, you’re somehow less valuable? Brooke reminds us that this is a trap. Instead of “Do more, be more,” maybe it should be “Rest more, be more.” Rest isn’t a reward you earn, it’s a baseline human right.
The problem is that perfectionism takes a toll on your nervous system, causing unnecessary stress, because, as Brooke said, “Perfect doesn’t exist.” In other words, if you are looking for perfection, you are chasing a Unicorn.
How to Fix it?
Well, obviously therapy (for some time, not forever, Brooke said) and self-compassion. Acknowledging you are flawed and that is totally OK.
The second concept to learn is ‘good enough’. You can have high standards and deliver quality work that is not perfect.
Learn more about Brooke Bralove in this episode, or connect with her on her:
- https://brookebralove.com
- FB: https://www.facebook.com/brookebralovepsychotherapy/
- IG: @brookebralovepsychotherapy
- Twitter: @bbpsychotherapy
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/brookebralovepsychotherapy/
- TikTok: @bbralovepsychotherapy
